


Breathe It and Choke

by PrussiaIsntDead



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Depression, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-03-17 01:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18954961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrussiaIsntDead/pseuds/PrussiaIsntDead
Summary: The young micronations were so excited to grow up, and the bigger micronations made it look fun! So what happens when they get a wake up stab and everything comes crashing down, all at once?





	1. Growing Up Is Not So Tough!

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: this work will have dark and depressing themes, such as suicide and abuse, please do not read this story. You have been warned.  
> 

My alarm blared in my ears, notifying me that it was currently 5:30 in the morning.

“It’s Friday. Last day until a break. You can do this, Peter,” I whispered in a hoarse voice, the cause of waking up and not using my voice too much beforehand.

My small feet hit the floor and made their way to my closet, where I picked out my trademarked sailor outfit and hat. Making my way to the bathroom, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I brushed my teeth, and went back to my room, sitting back on my bed and checking my phone.

_**Rai <3**_  
_Are you riding the bus today???_  
_3:48 a.m._

_**Sailor Man**_  
_I think so! :)_  
_5:52 a.m._  
I sighed, disappointed. Raivis would always go to sleep at the earliest times. What he did before he slept, I had no idea (other than texting me, of course).

I heard footsteps and reset my desk and bed, plugging my phone in and putting it away and covering a blanket over myself so nobody could see my clothes. The person came in, opening the door as quietly as possible, and coming over to my body, shaking me gently.

“Peter, honey, it’s time to wake up,” I heard the soft voice of my Mama, Tino.

Pretending to be drowsy, I groaned and yawned, creating the illusion that I was just awakening.

“Morning, Mama..” I yawned. He smiled, proud of waking me on the first go.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. You’ll be riding the bus today, so make sure to lock the door, alright?” He kissed my forehead, not exactly waiting for a response before leaving.

I sighed, relieved. It hadn’t gotten bad again. Yet.

_**Sailor Man**_  
_Iceeeeeeeeeeeee!_  
_Wake uuuup!!_  
_6:15 a.m._

_**Ice Ice Baby**_  
_Hey Peter._  
_6:20 a.m._

_**Sailor Man**_  
_How are the older kids?_  
_6:23 a.m._

_**Ice Ice Baby**_  
_They’re good ig??_  
_Romeo and Morro are getting better._  
_Jake started dating someone but he_  
_won’t tell us who._  
_6:27 a.m._

_**Sailor Man**_  
_That’s really good! Also, I think I might_  
_know who it is UwU_  
_Read: 6:30 a.m._

 

“How dare he.” I said to myself. “Oh, shoot!” I censor-cursed, getting up and grabbing everything I would need for the day. I rushed downstairs, forgetting to grab something to consume for nutrition, and ran to the bus stop. Panting, out of breath, I look up to see the bus traveling down the street. It finally stopped at my street, and I climbed on, seeing two hands raise up for me, indicating I could sit in either. After walking a bit closer, the figures of Raivis and Romeo were made out. Today, it was my friend’s turn, so I took off my backpack, placing it on the floor, and sat next to the 11th grader.  
“Ciao, Peter!” Romeo smiled and greeted, his angular, gravity defying curl bouncing as he did so. I nodded a ‘hello’, still too out of breath to speak correctly, which Wendy and Erland got a good laugh out of.

It was the normal chatter, Latvia talking about his books (I can’t see how anyone can enjoy a book without pictures), Romeo humming and talking about his brothers, Wendy and Jake doing classic sibling arguments, and Erland and Ehren discussing art. We reached Morro’s house, and he walked to the back and sat in the seat behind Romeo and I.

“Ciao, Morro!” Romeo turned so he was facing the kid we just picked up.

“Hi,” He sounded back. Despite popular belief, Morro was super friendly! One just has to get to know him first, and gain his trust, before he’ll start acting warmer. He’s a very considerate kid. He brings stuff for us little kids to do eat every meeting we have together!

“Peter, what do you think?” Wendy’s voice snapped me out of my mind.

“What?” I inquired, not knowing what the question was.

“Chocolate or vanilla?” She repeated the question.

“Who wouldn’t pick chocolate!” I exclaimed, and all eyes were on Erland, Ehren, and Jake. “Oh. My. Gosh. You guys, what the heck? Chocolate is totally better!” I argued my point. “It actually tastes like someth-”  
“Silence, bottom.” Said Erland.

“Ding dong, your opinion is wrong!” Said Jake.

“We can argue this later, let’s go, fellow 6th graders.” Commanded Wendy, who was already almost at the top of the isle.

Standing up and saying bye to Romeo and Morro, I got my backpack and followed Ehren and Erland to the top of the isle.  
================  
Word Count: 788  
Time Taken: 3 Days


	2. Except When He's Had Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this story will have dark themes such as depression, suicide, and abuse. if you are sensitive to these topics or these topics trigger you, please go read a happier story.

“Wends! Wait up!” I called, running off the bus steps in front of Erland and Ehren to the brunette. She turned around and looked at me, obeying my wish and stopping in her tracks.

“Hurry up, then,” She huffed, obviously annoyed. I sped up my pace, fearful that if I didn’t she would move on without me. “How many times have I told you not to call me that?” Wendy demanded once I caught up.

“Uhhhhh…. A lot?” I nervously answered, and Wendy nodded.

“Exactly.” She snapped at me.

I opened one of the double-doors for her, and she did the same to me on the second set, both of us speaking a quiet ‘thank you’ to the other. We made our way to the gym, as we were early and school didn’t start until 8:00. As we were walking on the wooden floor, a girl with a purple ribbon in her hair waved to us.

“Peter! Wendy! There are seats up here!” She called, smiling.

“Lily! We’re coming!” I shouted back, already climbing up the steps to her row. Being a total contrast to her brother, who is violent and harsh, Lily is peaceful and gentle, and was my first friend when I started school. “Good morning!” I grinned at her.

“Good morning you two!” Lily smiled back, being polite. Wendy nodded a greeting, being too far away to speak out a proper greeting without raising her voice, which she didn’t want to do so early.

It was just normal conversation. How have friends/family been, did you finish the homework, the ELA teacher is such a bi-

**RIIIIIIIIIIINNNGG!!!!**  
The school bell screeched loudly, announcing it was time for class to start. Everyone and their dog got up and tried to rush out of the gym in an attempt to get to class on time. Getting caught in the traffic, Lily and Wendy disappeared leaving me on my own.

_‘Just how you deserve to be.’_

Can you shutup for 5 seconds?

_‘Pretty hypocritical how you told me to shutup yet you’re still talking, huh?’_

Just leave me alone.

I sighed, reaching my locker and entering the code

“43-47-29” I whispered to myself, pushing up on the lever and opening my locker and grabbing my science books along with my math books, because I had math straight after and didn’t feel like coming back and wasting my time opening my locker after science.

Closing the small safe-like compartment, I proceeded to room 41 science with Mr. Olsson. Stopping to set my things down at my desk, I then walked around to sit in the chair behind it.

“Good Morning everyone, please clear your desk except for a pencil, and someone will pass out dividers.” Mr. Olsson announced as he entered the classroom. All the children groaned, presumably from not studying.

I stood up and softly stepped to the cubby that held the test dividers, picked them up, and turned to the other kids. I began handing them out, when I tripped and dropped all the dividers!

“Ah, fuck!” I mumbled under my breath as the children laughed at me. I turned back and found one of the boy’s legs was outstretched to obstruct my path, which it did. I got onto my knees and started gathering up the dividers. Once I had completed my job, I stood up and resumed passing out the test dividers while Mr. Olsson tried to quiet the classroom. I finished passing out the dividers, being smart enough to give myself one, and sat down to work on the paper.

I turned in my test, feeling confident that I did well, and sat back down, folding my divider and getting my notebook out. It was a plain grid, but with a rectangle that read “ _ **CREATE.**_ ” in the center. It was a gift from Wendy for my birthday.

Opening to the next blank page, I sketched out a circle.

_**RIIIIIING!!**_

The bell rang and I, along with everyone else, packed up and ran out of class to get to the next. 

 

~Small Timeskip~  
I ran to the band room, wanting to meet up with Lily, and walk her to the exit. I made a left into the room, and then went to the back room, which was the Flute/Clarinet room. I went to my cubby and picked up my blue flute case and my music book, and waited for Lily. 

Aforementioned girl came in a second later and started to pack up her things along with her clarinet. 

“Ready to go?” I asked once she stood up. Lily nodded and we started walking to the bus loop, meeting Wendy outside the band room. Her and Lily had art together, so Wendy just followed Lily and waited for us outside the band room.

We all walked down the hall, Wendy putting Lily’s jacket back over her shoulder every now and then, saying something about how there are ‘straight boys that won’t hesitate.’

Lily left to go home, leaving me and Wendy to go to the gym to wait.

Our bus came and Ehren, Erland, Wendy and I climbed on. Morro and Romeo were sitting together, talking about god-knows-what, and Jake was sitting in the back texting someone, who I assumed was Michael.

“Ciao, bambini!” Romeo greeted when we walked far enough back.

“Hello, Romeo!” I chimed back, sitting across from Wendy.

“How was your day at school?” He questioned. Romeo knew we weren’t very well taken care of at our homes, so he decided to take on the role of our ‘mom’.

“Mine was fine.” Wendy answered.

“A kid tripped me and I dropped everything I was holding and the whole class laughed!” I whined.

“Oh, I’m sorry that happened… that was pretty mean, huh?” His smile faltered and I nodded in response.

Morro nudged the Italian. “It’s almost time to go, mi amore,” he informed.

“Aww, Morro! Mi piace quando parli italiano!” Romeo blushed and pecked the American on the cheek. They both got up and Romeo gave each of us (including Ehren and Erland) a kiss on the forehead, and left.

Everyone left after that. Wendy and Jake, then Erland and Ehren, until I was the only one left. The bus dropped me off at my house and I rushed inside, taking off my shoes (per Mama’s request) and rushing up to my room. I checked the time. 4:37. Papa would be home any minute.  
I went downstairs into the kitchen and set the kettle on, wanting to make some tea.

_**BOOM** _

The front door crashed open, making both me and Mama jump.

“Peter, get behind me.” Mama commanded, and I followed it, getting behind him. Papa emerged into the kitchen. I couldn’t even recognize him in his drunken state. Mama tried to talk to him, but it didn’t work, as Papa took the kettle from the stove and poured it on Mama! Mama screamed loudly as Papa just watched. I ran away, ran away to my room and locked the door. I hid in my closet. 

That’s the last thing I can remember before I fell asleep.  
=====  
word count: 1185  
time taken: 2 days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gfdhsfhiafiodanjgfjkredh this hurt so much to write :((((  
> So all of these micros have a problem, so let's play a guessing game! What do you think Seb/Mol's situation is?  
> I hope you guys enjoyed!  
> Signed,  
> PrussiaIsntDead
> 
> TRANSLATIONS:  
> 1\. Ciao, bambini! -Italian, "Hello, children!"  
> 2\. mi amore -Italian, "my love"  
> 3\. Mi piace quando parli italiano -Italian "I love it when you speak Italian"


	3. Some Kind of Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tino drives Peter to school. Romeo banters with his nephew and has art class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of Hetalia's characters  
> Trigger warning(s): Implied eating disorder, Implied Mpreg

I jolted awake from my spot on the sofa. Hoisting myself up on my elbows, I hissed from the pain in my arms. Reminding myself of the task on hand, I slid off of the sofa. I walked up the stairs to Peter’s room and opened the door, walking in and shaking him awake. After not allowing him to sleep for five more minutes several times, he agreed to wake up.

I trekked back downstairs, grabbing two danish pastries from the fridge. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, light and quick, which made my anxiety calm down.

“Ready to go?” I turned around and asked the Englishman, who nodded happily in response, although that might have been because he got a pastry.

Both of us walked to the door, slipping on the appropriate shoes and getting our respective bags, and left. This made me let out a shaky breath I didn’t even know I held in. Peter was standing by the car, yanking on the handle twice to let me know it was locked. I unlocked the car and both of us climbed in.

“Uncle Matthias is the best cook ever!” Peter quipped, having finished his Danish.

“Obviously you have never had your Uncle Lukas’s cooking,” I laughed, pulling out of the driveway to take Peter to school. No, I didn’t have time to take him to school. So why did I do it? Because I was too scared to be home with Sweden,

==================

The three of us walked off the bus and into the courtyard. Morro was yelling at Jake about something. I couldn’t be bothered to care anymore.

“Hey, Seborger!” Someone giggled next to me.

“You aren’t even an island, so why is it in your name?”

They gasped, covering their chest with a hand, “How COULD you? I thought we were friends! I take high offense to that question!”

“Okay, Ryan. Go cry into the sea for me. While you’re at it, tell your sister she’s cute,” I teased.

“Go eat some pasta, and while you’re at it, tell my mom I said hi.” He growled.

“Like Roma has time to think about you and America.” Now I could feel myself getting upset, “There’s enough shootings in Italy as it is, he doesn’t need to think about yours!”

“Oh yeah? Well at least I can eat wit-”

“Ryan, shut the hell up,” Morro interrupted, knowing the fight would have escalated to magic and broken bones. The personification just huffed and walked away, most likely to whine to an older brother and then get scolded.

“Sorry,” I mumbled to the micronation.

“Thank you. Now, let’s go, bell’s about to ring.” He grabbed my hand and led me inside the building. 

As he had predicted, the bell screeched and echoed in the hallways. We both said our goodbyes and split up, going to our first hours. 

I walked into the art room, opening my sketchbook and beginning to finish the weekly piece. Getting out a Black Marker (™), I penned over the sketch as other people sat down at my table. We continued to work on the drawing for thirty minutes until our teacher told us to stop. 

She began to instruct us on a new project in which we had to make fifty symbols that described us, Black Marker (™) them, and then color them in. The twist was that we could only use one color, but we could use different shades. So, basically, a monochrome About Me sheet. Hooray.  
Everyone started with drawing the boxes with rulers, then sketching out some things that made us us. A few of mine were pasta, a pride flag, ketchup, and a tree. Why are trees so hard to draw? We’ll probably never know.

That was all I could get finished before the bell rang, the teacher telling us to have a good weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dudes! I just wanted to clarify that Ryan is the Personification of Rhode Island if you couldn't already tell.  
> The second thing is, I'm getting out of the Hetalia fandom. Updates will not be as often, but the story will be finished.  
> Sorry for the short chapter!  
> I also wanted to apologise for the implied Mpreg!  
> Make sure to leave a review! I love reading them!  
> Alright, that's all! Remember to take your meds and drink some water, I love you, bye!
> 
> Question of the Day: Who's your favorite Micronation  
> Random fact of the day: The modern popped collar originated as a way to keep tennis players’ necks from getting sunburnt.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok wow, my first Hetalia fic! Pretty proud of it, honestly! Please feel free to tell me some things I should work on/get better at! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!  
> Signed,  
> PrussiaIsntDead


End file.
